#1 Google

Have you ever received a message like this?

I am Really Has, III, Web Analyzer having 9+ years of experience in Search Engine Marketing, Social media Marketing, Content Marketing, Pay-per-click, Video Marketing etc.

While analyzing your website, we tracked some pitfalls for which your website doesn’t show up within top search results on search engines including Google. In addition to the same, we found that rileyhaasmarketing.ca is not able to achieve appropriate traffic/visitors for a couple of months.

I am quite impressed with your website – Business Concept, Content, Call-to-Actions and others. As a web analyzer, I can recommend few things to improve the website performance and I hope my suggestions will help business & your website.

My suggestions:

  • Publish Relevant Content (Blogs, Micro blogs, Article, Business Bio and etc)
  • Update Your Content regularly for quick crawling
  • Go for variation keywords and website optimization
  • Update Best Title Metadata, Description Metadata, Keyword Metadata
  • Go for Social media marketing for more engagement and social media traffic
  • Work on Page Loading speed and fix it to load within seconds
  • Go for Content marketing and Video marketing
  • Implement Latest Industry Specific Schema so you stand out as compared to your competitors’

not sure, if you can understand all above technical terms or not. Not to be worried, I will help to make you understand about the above points with brief descriptions.

If you have a technical team then I will wish you to go ahead and work on the above factors or if you prefer then I can help you to work on the above points.

If you are comfortable to go for a online meeting then please let me know. If you need to know about the cost then please revert back to my email and I will be happy to send you the quote with brief recommendation.

Thanks, I look forward to your reply.

Really Has
Web Analyzer

This is (mostly) a real email to a real business owner with basically no reference to that actual business or website. It’s completely generic and full of nonspecific advice, some of which is useful, some of which jargon, some of which is complete nonsense.

Why do people send this stuff?

They send it because even something this poorly written has enough truth to make it compelling to the desperate owner.

Say you’re not getting enough business and enough traffic to generate business. If someone comes along with tips, you might actually feel tempted to hire them. Or at least hire someone who seems to know this stuff but who has a better command of the English language.

Truth is, there is no “1 on Google”.

There are, instead, billions of #1 spots on the various pages Google produces for user searches. When you search for something your search results are incredibly customized – I’ll see slightly different results than you even if I search the same term. If we live far away from each other, I’ll see totally different results from you.

So the goal isn’t to be “#1 on Google”, rather it is to rank well for the keywords (phrases) that match your business in the markets you want to get customers/clients from.

If that sounds complicated it’s not as complicated as it sounds. The SEO jargon in these emails serves to obscure that.

Convincing to Google and Bing to show a link to your site instead of someone else’s is fairly straightforward but it does matter on your industry, your location, where your customers/clients are, and the like.

These generic emails skip all that stuff and instead promise you the moon in the hope that you will be desperate enough and uninformed enough to give them some money until they inevitably disappoint you.

Instead of hiring someone who can’t even bother looking at your website before they cold email you, you should learn how to do this yourself, or hire someone who understands your goals and your business.

These generic SEO emails are from agencies that have a one-size-fits-all solution (almost always for ecommerce only) which they haven’t even bothered to see if its right for you. In the case of the above email, this guy might not even have an agency. He might not have any idea of what he’s doing.

Stay away.



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